Friday, September 19, 2003

Unchained, Part 2 

Earlier this week I was the recipient of an e-mail chain letter (see 9/13/03). Today I was the recipient of an emotional chain letter (ECL). If you are over 12 years of age and have any friends or family to speak of, you probably know exactly what I am talking about.

An emotional chain letter is started by somebody (call this person, “Person A”), who is mildly to moderately irritated or distressed by something, so they call somebody (call this person, “Person B”) and tell that person about it. Person B (who cares deeply about Person A, which is why Person A called him or her in the first place) now assumes the mantle of annoyance as though it were his or her own. (“I’ll take that moderate irritation and raise you some extreme aggravation!”)

So Person B decides to share this emotional endowment with somebody else (call this person “Person C”), who he or she knows also happens to care about Person A.

So Person B calls Person C right before bedtime to help assuage their own aggravation, leaving Person C up all night writing in their blog because he or she is now too worried about Person A and frustrated with Person B to sleep.

Meanwhile, Person A, who made the original call is probably over the whole thing and relaxing with a glass of wine in front of the boob tube. Person B, who has successfully lessened their own angst by sharing it with Person C is probably sound asleep.

And Person D, who was the final chain in this emotional chain letter and personal witness to Person C’s tossing and turning and moaning and bitching, has the earthy metallic taste of blood in his or her mouth from biting their tongue.

Ahh, the power of love combined with the second-to-last day of a Mercury Retrograde.

Somebody should invent an ECL filter.

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